Andrew Klavan ➠ 50 Shades of Barack Obama
If Barack Obama doesn’t love America, then why is he beating the crap out of her? That’s the question our host and voracious reader, Andrew Klavan, explores in this review of the steamy new book 50 SHADES OF BARACK OBAMA.
I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth.
Does Barack Obama love America?[snorts]
Oh wait, sorry, that’s supposed to be a serious question. You see, after years of bad government and high-level corruption, people are beginning to wonder whether this president actually has affection for our country.
In an effort to get at the Revolting Truth, we have exclusively uncovered a document that tells the complete story of Obama’s relationship with the U.S. It’s called “50 Shades of Barack Obama.” Here’s a summary of the contents:
When she first met 50 Shades of Barack Obama, America was just a shy, homely greatest country on earth who had done nothing with her life but free most of the globe from tyranny while becoming the most powerful engine of wealth and innovation the world had ever known. So of course she was drawn instantly to the charismatic Obama, a handsome and politically brilliant mystery man who had parlayed identity politics into a successful career of doing absolutely nothing.
“I love you, America,” said 50 Shades of Barack Obama, “and so I’m going to fundamentally transform you into something else.”
“Oh jeezy-peezy,” said America, biting her lip seductively. “But if you love me, why would you want to fundamentally transform me?”
50 Shades of Barack Obama gazed wistfully into the middle distance. “I had a very sad childhood raised by Communists and America haters,” he said. “Now just sign this contract where I get to be president and dominate you completely, and then I’ll show you my Red Room.”
“Golly Moses!” sighed America, “why is it called the Red Room?” More